Find serotonin, relax and be happy

The power of meditation and breath allows you to come back to you, to drop into your heart, be in your body, and know you can do it. 
You can feel and live a life of love and purpose - change can be graceful and peaceful, let it Be you. 

Let your body melt into the white light that you are, breath, let go, & know you are safe.

You are Love
You are Grounded
You are Light 
The words of Arianna Auron

I am doing my best this week to practise what I preach by doing an almost daily meditation session which I've recorded myself, yep I can make myself go to sleep with my own voice. Fancy trying one of my sessions for free then just drop me a message I'd be thrilled for you to be a guinea pig. I intend by next month to be a fully qualified hypnotherapist and then will set up my facebook page and website, this is an exciting new time for me.

Now I know the happy pills have cheered me up and stopped me stressing about stuff but there has to be a better way than chemicals to increase serotonin (the happy hormone) levels. Serotonin  is a chemical messenger that’s believed to act as a mood stabiliser. It’s said to help produce healthy sleeping patterns as well as boost your mood. Studies show that serotonin levels can have an effect on mood and behaviour, and the chemical is commonly linked to feeling good. Food and diet is obviously a massive factor again, reduce refined sugar and processed foods, they seem to be the devil incarnate in every piece of nutritional and health advice there is, it's everywhere in everything you see, read and hear from every form of media, birds eye must be pissed off with it!!!

So where can I get a serotonin boost from that isn't chemical?

Serotonin and your diet: Does it work?

The common belief is that by eating foods high in tryptophan, you can boost your serotonin levels. But is this true?

Serotonin isn’t found in foods, but tryptophan is. Foods high in protein, iron, riboflavin, and vitamin B-6 all tend to contain large amounts of this amino acid. While high-tryptophan foods won’t boost serotonin on their own, there’s one possible cheat to this system: carbs.

Carbs cause the body to release more insulin, which promotes amino acid absorption and leaves tryptophan in the blood. If you mix high-tryptophan foods with carbs, you might get a serotonin boost.

The tryptophan you find in food has to compete with other amino acids to be absorbed into the brain, so it’s unlikely to have much of an effect on your serotonin levels. This differs from tryptophan supplements, which contain purified tryptophan and do have an effect on serotonin levels.

While they can’t compete with supplements — which you should not be taking without approval from your doctor — the foods listed contain high amounts of tryptophan. Your best chance at achieving a serotonin boost without using supplements is to eat them often, with a serving of healthy carbohydrates, like rice, oats, or whole-grain bread.

7 Serotonin boosting foods

• Eggs, the protein in eggs can significantly boost your blood plasma levels of tryptophan Pro cooking tip: Don’t leave out the yolks! They’re extremely rich in tryptophan and tyrosine, choline, biotin, omega 3 fatty acids, and other nutrients that are major contributors to the health benefits and antidioxidant properties of eggs. (who knew?!)
• Cheese is another great source of tryptophan - often thought of as a high in fat and has the same effect on your mood as chocolate, it's also believed to be one of the top 2 most loved foods with it's brother chocolate.
• Pineapples are a major source of bromelain, a protein that can reduce the side effects of chemotherapy as well as help suppress coughs, according to some research.
• Tofu, soy products are rich sources of tryptophan. You can substitute tofu for pretty much any protein, in pretty much any recipe, making it an excellent source of tryptophan for vegetarians and vegans. Some tofu is calcium-set, which provides a great calcium boost.
• Salmon. It’s hard to go wrong with salmon, which — as you may have guessed — is also rich in tryptophan. Salmon also has other nutritional benefits like helping balance cholosterol, lowering blood pressure, and being a source of omega-3 fatty acids.
• Turkey is essentially stuffed tryptophan
• Nuts & seeds Pick and choose your favourites, because all nuts and seeds contain tryptophan. Studies show that eating a handful of nuts a day can lower your risk for cancer, heart disease, and respiratory problems. They’re also good sources of fibre, vitamins, and antioxidants.
• Food and supplements aren't the only ways to boost serotonin levels
• Exercise : Research has shown that regular exercise can have antidepressant effects.
• Sunshine : Light therapy is a common remedy for seasonal depression. Research shows a clear relationship between being exposed to bright light and serotonin levels. To get better sleep or to boost your mood.
• Positivity ;  Research shows that facing daily life and your interactions with others with a positive outlook can significantly boost your serotonin levels. 
• Information sourced from https://www.healthline.com/health/healthy-sleep/foods-that-could-boost-your-serotonin#alternatives
• Spend some relaxing time listening to this youtube video below, either for a night sleep aid or an afternoon nap or even chill out time with a good book. It has been shown that listening to a meditation or relaxation music daily for 4 weeks can have an amazing effect on your mood - I personally listen to this every night when I go to bed https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LFGsZ6ythQQ

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Swap cous cous for quinoa and slippers for heels

Really am I so vain that I now spend my days (at home) in heels rather than slippers? Yes it's true, not just for vanity although they do look super sexy in pyjamas but also to work at my feet, legs and arse. My feet have been spreading from not wearing proper shoes, so like a bound up Japanese geisha my feet are forced into heels for a few hours a day.

Am I so vain that even though I don't hate the pixie look, I do hate the sagging cheeks and 15 chins (I haven't really got 15 chins but I don't want them either), so a daily face yoga stretching session is in order? Yes I am, my face can't be covered by a fringe or floppy hair anymore, everything is on show so yes I am doing a daily face yoga/stretch to regain my youthful glow. Is it working? Not a bloody clue but it's making me feel like I'm doing something helpful for myself :) Now with this in mind my daughters friend saw me and thought I'd gone for a new look and loved it, maybe I am harder on myself than I should be.

I am super slimming too, every day sees my diary of food, syns, calories, fat & sugar content blah blah blah. I might not have mentioned this before but I am going to Santorini for a girls weekend with my amazing girls and they look better than me, I know I know I'm their mother, they are supposed to look better than me but I can try and send a few pounds and years packing. Sooooooooo I might still not be able to yoga, pilate and squat but I can slendertone and hula hoop, so slendertone and hula hoop I shall and laugh about it I shall too :)

This weeks lesson to myself - Smile, even on the days where I feel like rubbish, the more I smile at other people the more they smile back to me and the less rubbish I feel. Just keep smiling, the worst that can happen is someone thinks I'm mad - if only they could see inside my head!!!

I'm back to reading and not just about myself, I'm reading Davina (yes it's true I am a Davina McCall fan) and I love her life lessons. I'm also reading the Trump book, woah I think that head is worse than mine, lessons from that - shut up!!

The weekly headaches are still here and so are the dizzy spells where I can't remember if I've just told you my name but I can remember that I am allergic to kiwi fruit and pineapple even if I can't remember that I'm allergic to morphine and codeine - how this strange head works. I'm wondering if it was always this strange I just never really noticed before. I'm pretty sure that there are many who know me that would say that statement is a true one. 

Kindness is one of my intentions for this year, I know that one of my 'things' is to be hard on other people and not always the most patient. This week I have bought hot food and drinks for two homeless women, is that kindness? I'm not sure if it was for them or my my own satisfaction. I know they appreciated it but all the same I sometimes wonder if that random act of kindness is as much for my self worth as those on the receiving end. I suspect probably both but I feel like being kind to a stranger is helping me at the same time as them, i gives me a warm self satifying feel as they enjoy a hot drink and meal.

I count myself incredibly lucky that I have a kind and caring relationship with my family and my grandchildren, to spend time knitting, watching a dance show and playing scrabble with my grand daughter might sound old ladyish but to me it is utter bliss, a wonderful relationship that will mean we both age with special memories of each other.

So on this note for another week Amos, you will not beat me. 

New Year, new beginnings and a new laptop..........

It's been a while I know and I'm probably talking to myself. I know that too but I am going to try and do a bit of a brief catchup with myself. I'd like to say it's time to get on with life but I honestly wish it was that simple and easy. It's not and I am very very slowly accepting that. So here in brief is the last few months that I haven't been bothered to write about. It's bloody hard this thinking malarky when you've had (time to drop the BT bomb) a brain tumour.........................

October
I got told that I wouldn't have my post op appointment until after the wedding so booked a flight to Spain, see some friends, give my girls a break from me and see how ready I could be to go back to work. I was ridiculously frightened of the flight, thoughts of my head expanding and exploding took over until vomitting with fear. My head didn't explode!!!! Sadly though a few days later after a blissful sunny walk on the seafront and sitting for two hours in the blazing sun I did have another seizure, what a bloody nightmare. I forgot my words again, this time in Spanish as well as English, that is not fun! I spent the night in a local Spanish hospital in the corridor, not quiet or comfortable. But I was less poorly than the man behind me who was very distressed. Thank goodness the releasing from hospital in Spain is quicker than the UK. At 8.30 am I was allowed to RUN out of the door, I didn't actually run but I walked really really fast. Obviously this terrified my poor friends and I was literally wrapped in cotton wool for the rest of my stay. That said I didn't have to catch the coach home as my very soon to be son in law collected me from the airport. So much for giving the girls a break, I gave them another fright instead.
My hair is falling out :(

November
It's wedding time, everything revolves around wedding preparation and it is blissfully beautiful, well apart from me having to contend with my ex husbands pain in the arse wife! I am trying to be nice but that is sometimes more difficult, I'm sure my brain has developed turrets because I regularly want to tell her to shut the fuck up - I don't, well not out loud anyway.
Soooooooooo the wedding comes by and it is truly the most beautiful wedding I have ever seen, the bride who was once my baby girl is now a princess and about to become a wife and I struggle to hold back the tears, forget hold back there's no point trying they just fall. The day is blissful, the evening is fabulous well it is until the ex husband gets drunk (again) I get the usual I love you, I always loved you blah blah blah, I'm used to that and it doesn't phase me anymore. I was however phased by the "that thing in your head is going to kill you", not a bloody chance it isn't, ooohhhhhhh I'm going to get a bit of fight back. The next comment "when I found out your were ill I was heartbroken but couldn't tell anyone", oooohhhhhhhh dear, too much drink!!!! Then the 1am sneak into my room for the kissing, used to this too, get out there are 3 children sleeping in here and your wife is 2 rooms away, leave me alone.
Now I didn't think all of this stupidity was having an effect, I was wrong but it would take me a while to realise.
I've started councelling, I hate the idea of it but the lady is lovely and I think my hour to rant and cry to a stranger is actually quite helpful, putting things into persepective is good. I like to box things in an orderly fashion and deal with them one at a time.
My hair is falling out :(

December
My post op and MRI appointment has come and I am fine, surgery was successful and I don't need radiotherapy. The tumour was the size of a small orange and took about 15 years to grow, 15 YEARS, no wonder I've been feeling ill for 5 years!!!
I should be thrilled but after 3 days I fall apart. I cancel my councelling, I cry, the nightmares have come back, I don't want to see or talk to anyone and I cry. There is a fury from the way my ex husband behaved at the wedding, I can't fight it, I am constantly seething. My hair has fallen out to the point of cutting what's left off. I've bought two wigs which look great but itch my head like crazy so I stop wearing them, it turns out the pixie look isn't as bad as I thought it would be. I cry and cry some more. I end up back in hospital with another vile dizzy spell which I thought was going to be another seizure. What is wrong with me??????? I am actually going mad.
Sooooooooooo my Dr has put me on some lovely happy pills, I hate them and I hate the thought of them but I daily want to commit murder, I daily cry, I daily have no energy and I literally can't be bothered with anything. Apparently the tablets will make me feel like crap for a couple of weeks but I feel like crap anyway so what's the difference?!
Yoga workouts are my love and nemesis, mad but true, I am desperate to get some workouts done but every time I try I get the dizzy spells again.............
Thank God for the children, my daughter and her 'husband' have gone on honeymoon and I have my grandaughter, she is my lifeline, she makes me smile and laugh and makes me get up in the mornings or she can't go to school, two weeks is tiring to look after a 9 year old when you're already fatigued and feeling like crap but she is a delight and I thank the universe for her.
By Christmas I am feeling less crap, still really really tired but less like a secret murdering bitch, maybe the happy pills are starting to work.
Christmas with my family is wonderful, I can laugh, sleep, rest, play with the kids and then laugh more. Oooohhhhhh and eat chocolate, chocolate and maybe just a bit more chocolate and a mince pie. That weight I've been shifting, may be coming back eeeekkkkkkkkk  

January (the first half)
New year is pretty damn good when you're not going partying cos you can't drink and you can't stand the noise. A night in with my grandson was utterly blissful, pizza, ice cream popcorn and movies, asleep by 9.30. Wake up to see the new year in and then back to sleep. A perfect way to see a new year. Let's hope it's a bloody site better than the last years.
I'm back at councelling, it's time to accept the help I'm being offered and get over all this crap, I'm bored of it now! 

So January is bringing new intentions to be kinder to myself, to be kinder to others, to not get upset over things that don't matter. Get back to studying and complete my courses to become a qualified hypnotherapist and help others to help themselves. I have really realised that is definately what I want to do. That said it is a reminder that if I don't let others help me I will not be able to help anyone. So while I'm typing there is tree cutting outside, the noise still makes me crazy so I'm burning some jasmine (probably my favourite smell at the moment) and listening to this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LFGsZ6ythQQ beautiful, relaxing music.

Life is going to be OK, different but OK. 

So back to the grindstone, back to studying on my new laptop which I like, it will take a little bit of getting used to but so far so good. Back to the diet :) and if I can't yoga I can hula hoop, not only can I hula but I can hula in heels, yep I have never thought I was anything but bonkers but hula hooping in heels and pyjamas is even bonkers in my estimation but my arse and legs are looking great - well they will do by Santorini in July

Happy and Healthy New Year readers. I will get back to this blog writing again and more regularly so please share if you think this page can help anyone smile or feel better about the madness in their head