I'm just shocked at how it's been about 4 weeks since I last posted. The last 4 weeks have been literally mental (hahaha that's appropriate). I don't really know where to start with an update!!!
I house sat and dog sat for some friends which was fabulous because I also started working, the house, work and dogs was brilliant, the being woken up at 5am every morning wasn't I was knackered but there always has to be a little bit of a downfall eh. I loved being back to some work, it makes me feel like I'm almost normal again.
It's been confirmed that I have CFS/ME and have probably had it for 40 years or so, always moaning about being tired, always wanting a bit of a snooze. So this is it, I really do have to cut out the sugar and the processed food, sugar is my enemy, but it's hard I love a bar of chocolate at night on the sofa in front of the TV, I will seek help from Davina and Ella (as in deliciously Ella) to find/make a sugar free alternative. I remember complaining about being tired as a child and had to take iron tablets, then when I was expecting my first child and had to have iron injections in my bum every day. Then when I had just had my second child, I was shouted at by the Dr who said "you're always moaning that you're tired", I don't like being shouted at so never went back. Then 5 years ago when I had a meltdown in work they told me I had CFS/ME, I was in Spain and knew I needed to sort my diet out but didn't bother for whatever reason. Now it's time to take control and pull myself together, I can do this, just need a kick up the bum and a reason. I've got the reason.
Then I moved home, I literally love my new flat although I have no idea how I managed to fit so much stuff into a smaller home because I can't unpack everything here. How does one woman really need more than 2 boxes of bags, scarves and shoes??? I do not know and I thought I was careful about material stuff, massive wrong!!!
I finished my walk completing over 200 miles walked and raising more than £800 which I am thrilled about. I want to do more stuff though. I want to raise more awareness of the illness, awareness of how to find a cure and awareness of how many people are effected by it. I want to be part of the group of people who work tirelessly to do all of that.
I went on holiday with my girls, we stayed in a cavehouse in Santorini, it was incredible. We spent the anniversary of my 10 hour surgery sipping wine on the terrace of a stunning restaurant. I wanted to make a different memory rather than spending every day of that year thinking about the day my life was saved by a disc being cut out of my skull and a tumour the size of a small orange being removed from my head. A new memory has been created. I think I should do this every year from now on, to give us all a different way to think on that one day.
I'm home and trying to sort myself out into my new life. My website is almost ready to be a business. I've got a million plans for things to do (well maybe not quite a million but a few) I want the website to be up and running, I want to start two evenings a week teaching meditation classes with mindfulness. I want to get my sewing machine back out and make some designs that I've had for ages. With this in mind (get it mindfulness and mind?) rent a small room to store my designs for sale and my small meditation classes, I even think I might have a room a few doors away, we'll see, that's all a long way away but it's something to look forward to.
With all the business going on I've been trying to learn and practice mindfulness with the help of Ruby Wax's book and an app called headspace, they are both brilliant. Some days I fail miserably and others I just start off calm and continue that way. It's certainly my aim to stop letting things make me upset, angry or just plain miserable. My aim is to be calm and relaxed every day. There are days when I fill myself up with so much stuff I feel like I don't have time to be calm, these are the days when I really need it the most, just that 10 minutes a day in the words of the brilliant Andy Puddicombe.
First I have to start at the beginning and sort my diet out and get rid of the sugar. Also get beack to doing my fitness, not done any for AGES so get my arse back in gear before it becomes my enlarging arse again hehehe
On that note I am going to make a cuppa and get in my PJ's before watching some trashy TV
As always I wish you all well and hope that in the next few weeks I'll be telling you I have my new sparkly business up and running and will be a working hypnotherapist and meditation teacher
Be well and happy
