My hair is growing thick, long, strong and curly. I have always had thin, straight hair so this is different. I do love my new hair growth but honestly right now I resemble my Dads hair, curly quiff!!!
I feel awake and alive and I'm loving it, still I know not to overdo things but really I'm genuinely feeling great, so much that it's time to think about holidays woohoo. I'm hoping to go and stay with friends in sunny Spain in August, a bit (or a lot) of sunshine, some pool and beach time and some natural brown legs and not the fake tan, although it has to be said the fake tan is doing me proud for now, thanks skinnytan :)
I have bought myself a present proskins leggins and a top, this stuff is meant to be brilliant for skin firming and anti cellulite. Now I am lucky that I don't have any cellulite, well not that I can see anyway but I do have the baggy arms which I hate and I would like to firm my belly (I know I know wouldn't we all) but this stuff has great reviews so when I was given a cash gift from a friend I thought it was a good opportunity to spend it on these really expensive leggins and a matching top. Supposedly wearing them for 8 hours a day will improve my skin complex and work towards toning my baggy areas. The weirdest of it is it doesn't need to be washed for 2 weeks, honestly I'm not sure how I feel about that. I felt bad enough when we had the snow and I wore the same pyjamas for 3 days!! But these come highly rated by QVC (yes I am still shopping from TV, I think I might have developed a bit of a problem) and a few very good looking sportspeople, so I will wear them constantly, yes I might never take them off, they are really comfy.
https://proskins.co/
Now for any gentlemen who may read this I want to apologise in advance for this next paragraph, skip ahead, honestly it's a womens thing! Since I had my youngest (now 27 year old) daughter I have had a monthly boob/breast issue! I had mastititis after she was born and have got it during my period ever since. As a result of this I have the depo injection every 3 months, it stops me getting a period and therefore stops my boobs swelling up massively painfully and feeling like very heavy bullets. I've read (honestly I have) about how hormones like the injection and other forms of contraception can be another cause towards our tumours, whether or not this is true I honestly don't know and I don't believe that anyone really does. But, I have decided that it's time to stop having the jab. I only realised this morning that I'm now two weeks overdue my injection, usually at this stage of lateness I would be struggling with my sore and swollen boobs but I'm not. They are still soft and normal (I'm so sorry you are having to read this, I am literally sharing my whole life). Now whether this is just a coincidence or it's the vitamin b or the cbd I have no idea, but it's (fingers crossed) one less chemical for my body to have inside it and that makes me very happy.
I also know that now I am feeling not so urgh all the time, definately thanks to the vitamin b and the cbd oil and cutting down the anti depressants, I want to get back to some fitness, I still can't do the gym because I still can't stand the noise so it's home working out that I'm on and I am doing a little more every week and loving it. Still being careful to modify so as not to knock myself out with a dizzy spell or seizure!!! Sooooo I'm on Beachbody Piyo, definately my favourite, I don't do the drench and other long workouts but the core and buns are perfect for me. I do Oxycise, this is brilliant breathing, great for a wake up if I've had lazy days. The firm fitness has been this week, slim in 30 is bloody hard so I really have had to modify everything but I love that I'm being able to do more and more.
I am determined to look bikini fabulous, well as bikini fabulous as a 40 something year old grandmother of 2 and brain tumour survivor can look. Actually that little lot makes me bloody amazing :)
My thoughts are clearer, I have been so good at forgetting the words I want to say or write, until the last few weeks I would just give up trying to remember the word but I have learned that if I stop, breathe and consider the word comes back to me. It's amazing. I wonder if I am going to be my old self again or even just a different version of myself. Either way I am happy, I have a great future to look forward to and things in the pipeline. Maybe I'll turn this blog into a book when I'm off the meds and the seizures stop (notice I'm now saying when and not if), what do you think?
So all of the positive stuff I've written and then this morning I looked in my diary and I am due a gran mal, I know I need to stop thinking about it and stop worrying about it but it's there gnawing away at the back of my head and I am scared and I am worried and what if all this good stuff I'm doing is for nothing? I also know that I am hitting the 9 month post surgery mark and this morning a friend (who has been through the similar experience as me so knows what she's talking about), this is apparently a magic marker that things start to go the right way. Note to self sit down, have a cuppa, read a good book and don't worry
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