The sadness of self deprecation

I find it sad that so many of us are so hard on ourselves. Self deprecation is the tough messages we give to ourselves. Often nastier than anyone else can give us, tougher and harsher comments than we would ever take off others.
I'm too fat
my boobs are too big (or too small)
my feet are horrible
I'm too stupid to apply for that job
I'm too ugly to be loved
If someone used that language to my girls as children I would have been a woman possessed to change that message but that is the same message I give to myself every day and I see my friends give themselves the same message. I am however trying really hard to be kinder to myself, to look in the mirror and remind myself that I'm doing OK, to get a plan of action for the future so that I know that I will be strong enough to move forward. To know that I look pretty damn good. To remind myself that I am a mother, a grandmother, a brilliant friend and a brain tumour survivor. 

Kindness is a beautiful quality and kindness to yourself (and myself) is equally beautiful and attractive. Not an over confidence kindness that makes you look brash and self absorbed. But a kindness that can be given to others where you can look at those around you and spot something nice in everyone as well as yourself. This kindness that you can say something nice to someone that can make their day, saying something nice to a friend or a stranger and make them smile on the inside for hours. This can keep the giver and receiver of that kindness with a warm glow inside. It's a free giving to say something gentle and kind, it costs nothing but means the world. My Dad used to say if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing.

I haven't always been kind to others around me and have probably gone through years judging people for their size, their job, their lifestyle and clothing choices. A nastiness that wasn't always on show on the outside but I am ashamed of. Don't read this wrong I don't think I was a nasty spiteful person but I don't think I always saw the best in everyone I met and I also am not foolish enough to believe that EVERYONE has a kind and gentle side to them all the time but I am proud to say I am not that judgemental person anymore, maybe that part of my brain was removed and for that I'm glad, it's not welcome back.

My Dad also used to say treat others the way you expect to be treated yourself. My Dad was a lot more sensible that he was given credit for a lot of the time, I miss him everyday, but with his words he is always with me, always with my girls because they also teach these words to my grandchildren. Dad you live on.

If you're reading this, be kind to yourself, make a cuppa, put your feet up and rest for a while with a good book. Be kind to yourself, everything will be fine. Much love from me today - Ooh I must have done a LOT of yoga this week :)