The seizure bomb dropped the tumour bomb

Another day, another seizure, another night in the hospital for my lovely daughters as I frighten the living day lights out of them again!!!!

I forgot to take my tablet and it seems this really does have a ridiculous massive impact on my seizures. I was fine, I'd had a lovely day, I was very careful with myself and then I could hear the TV programme talk which sounded like deja vu (I've had that before) I thought I was maybe having the start of a dizzy spell. The next thing I know my daughter is banging on the door for me to let her in and I'm being strapped into an ambulance, I remember snap photos in between but not words. 

I want to scream what has happened to my head????? This never happened before, this was supposed to not happen again, I literally feel like I've gone mad, not just a little bit but fully properly mad, it's disheartening and worrying and makes me feel a bit sick if I'm honest. My grandchildren now have to be taught an emergency plan 'just in case', I have to carry an old peoples thing around with me as an emergency button. This might get me down for a few days but I don't want that to last, I want to get back to how I was last week when life was looking good and things were improvement. 

This happened on the evening a friend that I stopped talking to messaged me to tell me that she had some old photos of my Father and my daughters when they were children, after a series of messages she told me that she was throwing them in the bin. It really is at times like these that you really do see the selfish, nasty side of some people. The side of people that you stop hiding for the sake of friendship. I hadn't realised before all of this rubbish that I had a few friends who I shouldn't have bothered with, the brain tumour bomb is the perfect tool to get rid of them.

So after spending yesterday in my warm cosy, fleecy bedding, today it's time to move. Get dressed be a person again. Also hunt for the earring that I've lost during the seizure that contains my fathers ashes, I could cry for the loss of that earring. It's a thing I know and I'm not materialistic but it's a precious thing that I truly love. 

OK, deep breath and get back to life (easier said than done but I need to do my best rock it like a rockstar)